Tuesday, June 17, 2008

ennui

I wouldn't say *bored.

It is different from boredom. Infinitely similar but there are no intention of carelessness in the word "ennui".

Incubus's perpetual quest for ultimate pleasure and sensuality, only leads to yet another disappointment.

No, he is not disappointed. He just expected more, expected better than this. Nothing wrong in seeking pleasure, is there?

Does it sound like uncertainty?
No.
Incubus is just lamenting that nothing come into his contact would be so steadfast that it would not change themselves from the initial excitement and surprise.

No, he does not want eternal love.
That is so boring.
Please spare him.

***
He still remembers when he was anxious about future encounter. He felt uncertainty mixed with anticipation.

He doe not even have that anymore.
All the results, as expected. Not that anything worse, just nothing different from previous experiences.
*great* and *good* became *great as this...* *good as expected*...

****

He unwraps his satin sheets, walks into his shower and starts yet another day.

Yes. Oh yes, his day will be good.

As good as ... he would expect.

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