Come on now...
I have seen just too many weak minded sheep out there, passing *holier than thou* judgement on others in pixel realms. I am SICK and TIRED of those whining.
"It is cheating, if you have spouse or significant other in RL."
IS IT, really now????
It's a game.
My seven year old kills other human mercilessly in his game, oh he is good at it. But its okay, right? Because they are all bad guys. They are nazis and terrorists.
The kid has better grasp of fantasy and reality than those dumb *adults* playing in this pixel realms. I tell you again. IT IS A FANTASY. IT IS NOT REAL!
Back to the damn question.
First off. It is none of your fucking business. Mind your own.
Second, who cares what you think. If you are so just and right, what does it matter that someone you do not even know does what in cartoon world? Grow the fuck up.
That has been laid out... I have my own observation to tell you.
****
Those seemingly vanilla ppl are unable to stand on their own. You HAVE TO belong in the majority. Therefore, the stupid, unscientific survey on chat/forum, asking stupid question "Do you think its cheating?"
And those alike, responds in similar manner "It is cheating. " ... LMAO so they feel like they are not alone, because *EVERYONE* says you are right that it is cheating...
The fact is that, those people just need other's assurance.
Their existence is depend upon other's approval.
Do you know why?
Because they have no convictions of their own.
They have nothing to be faithful to, there is no ideals of their own to prove their fidelity.
Otherwise, they would be shut up and stick to their own beliefs, wouldn't they?
***
See? I have been faithful to my own ideal and having steadfast fidelity to my own beliefs.
I have never force anyone to agree to my own opinions. Because ...
I could fucking careless, if anyone agree with me or not.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
ennui
I wouldn't say *bored.
It is different from boredom. Infinitely similar but there are no intention of carelessness in the word "ennui".
Incubus's perpetual quest for ultimate pleasure and sensuality, only leads to yet another disappointment.
No, he is not disappointed. He just expected more, expected better than this. Nothing wrong in seeking pleasure, is there?
Does it sound like uncertainty?
No.
Incubus is just lamenting that nothing come into his contact would be so steadfast that it would not change themselves from the initial excitement and surprise.
No, he does not want eternal love.
That is so boring.
Please spare him.
***
He still remembers when he was anxious about future encounter. He felt uncertainty mixed with anticipation.
He doe not even have that anymore.
All the results, as expected. Not that anything worse, just nothing different from previous experiences.
*great* and *good* became *great as this...* *good as expected*...
****
He unwraps his satin sheets, walks into his shower and starts yet another day.
Yes. Oh yes, his day will be good.
As good as ... he would expect.
It is different from boredom. Infinitely similar but there are no intention of carelessness in the word "ennui".
Incubus's perpetual quest for ultimate pleasure and sensuality, only leads to yet another disappointment.
No, he is not disappointed. He just expected more, expected better than this. Nothing wrong in seeking pleasure, is there?
Does it sound like uncertainty?
No.
Incubus is just lamenting that nothing come into his contact would be so steadfast that it would not change themselves from the initial excitement and surprise.
No, he does not want eternal love.
That is so boring.
Please spare him.
***
He still remembers when he was anxious about future encounter. He felt uncertainty mixed with anticipation.
He doe not even have that anymore.
All the results, as expected. Not that anything worse, just nothing different from previous experiences.
*great* and *good* became *great as this...* *good as expected*...
****
He unwraps his satin sheets, walks into his shower and starts yet another day.
Yes. Oh yes, his day will be good.
As good as ... he would expect.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
windlight...
I wondered if I wore one of my old hats in windlight environment. Probably i would not want to put these pictures in my vendor, but it came out good.
No special poses. Just my same old AO and my hat.
while I was looking at these pictures, I had a random thought of if I should make several logos for my store and also some kind of crest which can double as watermark...
As you might be able to tell, this is definitely my *attention deficit* symptoms... and I have no clue why I wanted to take a picture of my old hats...
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
secret lover is the key to your happiness
You know there is a such person as *husband material* or *boyfriend material*... Those, easy to define. Everyone would agree for the most part.
honesty? goodness? caring and sweet?
Of course, it is boring. Generalized character cannot be exciting. And then comes the *irreconcilable differences* and all that. The ugly but common break up drama follows...
********
So why are they looking for husband/boyfriend, and only to be disappointed?
Beats me.
********
However, finding a great lover takes much more than your own likings and taste.
He has all the quality to be a husband or boyfriend, but he has to be comfortable in his own skin so he would not be jealous of your *other mate* or your friends.
He does not require stupid attention like a little boy.
He knows when to let you be alone.
He is able to take on the role of a great buddy or good brother.
He can make your ugliest friend feel like the most beautiful woman in the room.
He keeps his own secret, but he would never reveal to you for your own good.
And you can absolutely trust him.
He is not predictable.
He would not say *I love you* just because it is the right thing to say.
You have to have tremendous self esteem and vivacious character to keep such man interested in you. He is used to be around beautiful women but that means nothing to him.
He is not just a punk in the streets.You imagine that he can be dangerous, if need to be. You would probably never know, because he seems to know how to control every situation.
In fact, he knows how to let you control when it calls for.
He never overstep you.
He would never tried to earn your points by showing off his effort. He makes everything looks too easy.
***
And when you need to leave him for good, he would smile...
"... come see me again?"
then just let you go.
For the first time and the last, you realize he loved you.
honesty? goodness? caring and sweet?
Of course, it is boring. Generalized character cannot be exciting. And then comes the *irreconcilable differences* and all that. The ugly but common break up drama follows...
********
So why are they looking for husband/boyfriend, and only to be disappointed?
Beats me.
********
However, finding a great lover takes much more than your own likings and taste.
He has all the quality to be a husband or boyfriend, but he has to be comfortable in his own skin so he would not be jealous of your *other mate* or your friends.
He does not require stupid attention like a little boy.
He knows when to let you be alone.
He is able to take on the role of a great buddy or good brother.
He can make your ugliest friend feel like the most beautiful woman in the room.
He keeps his own secret, but he would never reveal to you for your own good.
And you can absolutely trust him.
He is not predictable.
He would not say *I love you* just because it is the right thing to say.
You have to have tremendous self esteem and vivacious character to keep such man interested in you. He is used to be around beautiful women but that means nothing to him.
He is not just a punk in the streets.You imagine that he can be dangerous, if need to be. You would probably never know, because he seems to know how to control every situation.
In fact, he knows how to let you control when it calls for.
He never overstep you.
He would never tried to earn your points by showing off his effort. He makes everything looks too easy.
***
And when you need to leave him for good, he would smile...
"... come see me again?"
then just let you go.
For the first time and the last, you realize he loved you.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Jack of all trades...
Jack of all trades, Master of none... my graceful title since ... as far as I can remember... Some polite people graciously calls it *talent*, but this has been a most miserable lament of my whole life. *smirks
And as such, I will be reminded of it almost every instant of my daily life.
For instance...It was sunny Saturday afternoon.
Books are one of my fetish. Bookstores always has the lure of whorehouse on Friday nights.
I just go to book store and walk around, browse, and usually end up buying one. Rarely I walk out without buying one.
Yesterday, I was looking for particular genre of particular title. I could not find it but I found *how to* for fantasy illustration. There are more than handful of similar titles on the shelves, but this particular title goes from basic drawing technique, supplies, mediums to digital art, even how to get inspirations, to how to organize as a professional.
Each subject is not even enough to cover everything, but it is very efficient for me to have this book. Since it shows the order of how to organize your creativity.
I have fair amount of practical knowledges about art/drawing itself, therefore this book will assist me with application of mediums.
No. I am not going to be a professional illustrator. (Once i entertained that idea some 25 + years ago. Not my thing. It requires me to have total solitude and I would never be in that position. ) But, it will still gives me an outlet/medium, and have some joy out of it.
There was a time that I went thru 4-5 sketch books and produced nearly 100 completed works. (Yes, every two to three days. Some are done in a day in a matter of three hours.) And I was churning out mediocre stuff that I do not even want to draw.
And after few years, I think I ran out of any inspiration or drive to create. At least I had another outlet called music, which gives instant gratification much more than drawing. So drawing/painting were put back in the shelves.
---So, now you know why and where my *Jack of all trade, master of none* title come from. You just cannot be on top of everything at the same time and persevere. when you are taking on one, the rest would take back seat, and the perpetual cycle of * flavor of the month* ...
Anyways.
I guess I would at least try to put my digital art equipment to use. I will.
And as such, I will be reminded of it almost every instant of my daily life.
For instance...It was sunny Saturday afternoon.
Books are one of my fetish. Bookstores always has the lure of whorehouse on Friday nights.
I just go to book store and walk around, browse, and usually end up buying one. Rarely I walk out without buying one.
Yesterday, I was looking for particular genre of particular title. I could not find it but I found *how to* for fantasy illustration. There are more than handful of similar titles on the shelves, but this particular title goes from basic drawing technique, supplies, mediums to digital art, even how to get inspirations, to how to organize as a professional.
Each subject is not even enough to cover everything, but it is very efficient for me to have this book. Since it shows the order of how to organize your creativity.
I have fair amount of practical knowledges about art/drawing itself, therefore this book will assist me with application of mediums.
No. I am not going to be a professional illustrator. (Once i entertained that idea some 25 + years ago. Not my thing. It requires me to have total solitude and I would never be in that position. ) But, it will still gives me an outlet/medium, and have some joy out of it.
There was a time that I went thru 4-5 sketch books and produced nearly 100 completed works. (Yes, every two to three days. Some are done in a day in a matter of three hours.) And I was churning out mediocre stuff that I do not even want to draw.
And after few years, I think I ran out of any inspiration or drive to create. At least I had another outlet called music, which gives instant gratification much more than drawing. So drawing/painting were put back in the shelves.
---So, now you know why and where my *Jack of all trade, master of none* title come from. You just cannot be on top of everything at the same time and persevere. when you are taking on one, the rest would take back seat, and the perpetual cycle of * flavor of the month* ...
Anyways.
I guess I would at least try to put my digital art equipment to use. I will.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Fred time
*Fred time* can be relaxing or exciting. It can be fun or interesting.
*Fred time* can be just us, alone, or with everyone.
*Fred time* can be just us, alone, or with everyone.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Anachronism of pixel life
As many of my friends already know, I have strong leaning towards anachronism in most aspects of life.
And more so in mind, comparing to the aesthetics.
One of the disappointment usually come from seemingly *period oriented community* of people, who has no knowledges nor understanding of period idealism, likely turned out to be just a geek who sit in front of computer, sometimes dressed like robot or sometimes dressed like Victorian gentile... nothing more than a Halloween costume party to them.
My internal anarchism does not conflict with my anachronism. After all, there were the times of revolutions and wars.
There were forward thinking people 200 years ago.
And then,there were libertines and atheists.
They are just a handful of honest people, who were labeled and branded as rebels by larger society who only follows whatever they society dictates.
To them, just to avoid conflict and conform to the society is not the purpose of their life.
Neither am I. I do not give a damn to be agreeable so I can be approved by undecided masses. I only tell the truth, whether if it hurt or not. The truth, has nothing to do with me. I cannot change it. It is as it is.
And more so in mind, comparing to the aesthetics.
One of the disappointment usually come from seemingly *period oriented community* of people, who has no knowledges nor understanding of period idealism, likely turned out to be just a geek who sit in front of computer, sometimes dressed like robot or sometimes dressed like Victorian gentile... nothing more than a Halloween costume party to them.
My internal anarchism does not conflict with my anachronism. After all, there were the times of revolutions and wars.
There were forward thinking people 200 years ago.
And then,there were libertines and atheists.
They are just a handful of honest people, who were labeled and branded as rebels by larger society who only follows whatever they society dictates.
To them, just to avoid conflict and conform to the society is not the purpose of their life.
Neither am I. I do not give a damn to be agreeable so I can be approved by undecided masses. I only tell the truth, whether if it hurt or not. The truth, has nothing to do with me. I cannot change it. It is as it is.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Disorganized organizers...
In the recent official Linden blog, SL5B (5th anniversary event) is extended and application of both exhibitors and staff volunteers.
Everett Linden also stated in bold letters that *multi lingual residents are highly sought*...
I checked the link to the wiki page for this event, yet there are no indication that what kind of *multi lingual positions* are sought.
I contacted Dusty Linden who is in charge of SL5B event inworld, and s/he only refer a name of another resident to me, without availability of specific positions.
---this is so called *run-around* that how the LL deal with anything, as anyone in this game in period of time...
Then, I contact resident organizer, and it seems that she has no clue about *multi lingual position was sought by LL... What she asked me was that "we need everything , from security to greeters to builders..."
Huh?
OK, the event will run in the matter of few weeks...
and the staff incharge do not even have notecard of available positions?
How do they communicate eachother?
How do they organize the application?
Who is in charge of staff communication?
....
I think it would be a waste of time.
I offer my help but they did not even ask me to send any note or any kind of application which listed my expertise/special skills... therefore, i would suspect that they would not be able to utilize any expertise that other residents offered, myself included...
I feel for all those volunteers. When the main organizer in charge do not even know what they need, only two weeks in prior to the opening of the event... the event would be disorganized and people will be frustrated and dissatisfied. They have to do extra work when they do not have time to take care or plan properly.
This is just *disaster* written all over it.
Everett Linden also stated in bold letters that *multi lingual residents are highly sought*...
I checked the link to the wiki page for this event, yet there are no indication that what kind of *multi lingual positions* are sought.
I contacted Dusty Linden who is in charge of SL5B event inworld, and s/he only refer a name of another resident to me, without availability of specific positions.
---this is so called *run-around* that how the LL deal with anything, as anyone in this game in period of time...
Then, I contact resident organizer, and it seems that she has no clue about *multi lingual position was sought by LL... What she asked me was that "we need everything , from security to greeters to builders..."
Huh?
OK, the event will run in the matter of few weeks...
and the staff incharge do not even have notecard of available positions?
How do they communicate eachother?
How do they organize the application?
Who is in charge of staff communication?
....
I think it would be a waste of time.
I offer my help but they did not even ask me to send any note or any kind of application which listed my expertise/special skills... therefore, i would suspect that they would not be able to utilize any expertise that other residents offered, myself included...
I feel for all those volunteers. When the main organizer in charge do not even know what they need, only two weeks in prior to the opening of the event... the event would be disorganized and people will be frustrated and dissatisfied. They have to do extra work when they do not have time to take care or plan properly.
This is just *disaster* written all over it.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Gothic life and anachronism...
Since I have been away from pixel world for awhile, and feeling the dire need of analysis on virtual life and purpose (*laughs), I examined some of the aspects of it as a whole.
creative outlet: one of the main purpose on either side of the realm
Actually, many of the aspect can be just explained as a part of creative outlet.
*The utter refusal of the repetition of real life
-aesthetics (both in styles and philosophy)
-anachronism (classical, gothic, romantics etc)
-inspiration (occasionally, I meet interesting people. )
hmmm....
I was having a vague idea of forming my own realm. However, it will not be solely based on superficial social relationship (fake friends and fake families) nor based on business interests.
The core members consists of exceptionally talented content creators, the intelligentsia, and they will be all trusted by me on the base level. Since I am reluctant to shed too much money on this side of the realm, it may be small as it is now, unless my business would expand and have enough profit to support such household/court/kingdom /empire. It will not be some fake democratic paradise where everyone agrees with everything.
Any visitors would be welcome, however, not everyone would be accepted in my immediate circle. The maturity of each character will be scrutinized, as well as the individual talent and abilities.
If the individual demonstrates talents, loyalty and maturity, I would be offering as much support as I can. And moreover, they will be given an opportunity to hold their own household and expand, if they agree with same philosophy of the realm.
There are no points to collect. It depends on your own intellect.
And no, it is not fair, as any life.
--------
Above was scribbled some days ago. (I do that a lot. Many simply will not make it to this blog because subject matter has nothing to do with pixel realm.)
Yet more random thoughts came up.
Pixel realm can be some fantasy outlet. Of course it is a part of creative process, however some of the anachronistic ideals that I described above, needs group/community of similar minded people. I am not talking about aesthetic point of view here.
There are so many period based sims around SL. Mostly building and RP/fashion oriented. yet, I hardly ever meet anyone who is even remotely knowledgeable with period society or classical/romantic/gothic, literary/artistic idealism.
****
One of my hero(happens to be real life historical figure from late 19th century), Kinmochi Saionji, prominent political figure of early modern Japanese government.
More like, he is one of the key figure of establishing modern Japan, after Tokugawa shogunate was relinquished.
He was born in prominent aristocratic family, which are traced all the way back to emperor and Fujiwara family who served emperors. Since young age, he served in emperors court(this, takes days to explain how or what it is, so I will not do this in here), then became governor of few key areas when he left positions as military officer when he was only 19.
Around this few years, he romantized being samurai, therefore he used simpler, ordinary sounding aliases to prevent others to see him as aristocratic blood. (Both of his last and first name has very distinctive royal ring to them)
He established private school inside Kyoto palace estate, which later became Ritsumeikan college. (This, was all accomplished in between age of 18-21)
after a few years, he moved to Paris, to get degrees in Sorbonne. Next decade or so, he studied and after a several years, he became official Japanese envoy to European courts and governments.
He never married mostly because the marriage would be dictated by aristocratic custom which has to be princess of prominent family, however he had numerous lovers and mistresses (social norm back in the day). There is a written report that one of the literal figure had the picture of him adorned her nightstand.
Japanese delegates to the Paris conference of 1919, proposed racial equality among the League of Nations (precursor to UN). It was voted in favor of the propse, however British and US delegates did not recognized stating that it has to be unanimous. Interestingly,this deepened conflict left unresolved between British/US and japan, resulted to WW2. Equality of the nations clause was included in UN pact after the WW2.
** Well. Not just Saionji, who built modern Japan, however, I am strongly identify his forward free thinking and his interest in learning the cultures outside of Japan. He was accused of Foreign sympathizer, however, that is wrong. He was clever enough to know how much catching up we (Japanese) needed, and almost singlehandedly establish the modern foreign policy. (He was also became prime minister several times.)
*****
Now back to the pixel realm...
It is something possible in virtual community which includes great minds from different cultures. Yet the cluster is somewhat linked by similar ideals.
creative outlet: one of the main purpose on either side of the realm
Actually, many of the aspect can be just explained as a part of creative outlet.
*The utter refusal of the repetition of real life
-aesthetics (both in styles and philosophy)
-anachronism (classical, gothic, romantics etc)
-inspiration (occasionally, I meet interesting people. )
hmmm....
I was having a vague idea of forming my own realm. However, it will not be solely based on superficial social relationship (fake friends and fake families) nor based on business interests.
The core members consists of exceptionally talented content creators, the intelligentsia, and they will be all trusted by me on the base level. Since I am reluctant to shed too much money on this side of the realm, it may be small as it is now, unless my business would expand and have enough profit to support such household/court/kingdom /empire. It will not be some fake democratic paradise where everyone agrees with everything.
Any visitors would be welcome, however, not everyone would be accepted in my immediate circle. The maturity of each character will be scrutinized, as well as the individual talent and abilities.
If the individual demonstrates talents, loyalty and maturity, I would be offering as much support as I can. And moreover, they will be given an opportunity to hold their own household and expand, if they agree with same philosophy of the realm.
There are no points to collect. It depends on your own intellect.
And no, it is not fair, as any life.
--------
Above was scribbled some days ago. (I do that a lot. Many simply will not make it to this blog because subject matter has nothing to do with pixel realm.)
Yet more random thoughts came up.
Pixel realm can be some fantasy outlet. Of course it is a part of creative process, however some of the anachronistic ideals that I described above, needs group/community of similar minded people. I am not talking about aesthetic point of view here.
There are so many period based sims around SL. Mostly building and RP/fashion oriented. yet, I hardly ever meet anyone who is even remotely knowledgeable with period society or classical/romantic/gothic, literary/artistic idealism.
****
One of my hero(happens to be real life historical figure from late 19th century), Kinmochi Saionji, prominent political figure of early modern Japanese government.
More like, he is one of the key figure of establishing modern Japan, after Tokugawa shogunate was relinquished.
He was born in prominent aristocratic family, which are traced all the way back to emperor and Fujiwara family who served emperors. Since young age, he served in emperors court(this, takes days to explain how or what it is, so I will not do this in here), then became governor of few key areas when he left positions as military officer when he was only 19.
Around this few years, he romantized being samurai, therefore he used simpler, ordinary sounding aliases to prevent others to see him as aristocratic blood. (Both of his last and first name has very distinctive royal ring to them)
He established private school inside Kyoto palace estate, which later became Ritsumeikan college. (This, was all accomplished in between age of 18-21)
after a few years, he moved to Paris, to get degrees in Sorbonne. Next decade or so, he studied and after a several years, he became official Japanese envoy to European courts and governments.
He never married mostly because the marriage would be dictated by aristocratic custom which has to be princess of prominent family, however he had numerous lovers and mistresses (social norm back in the day). There is a written report that one of the literal figure had the picture of him adorned her nightstand.
Japanese delegates to the Paris conference of 1919, proposed racial equality among the League of Nations (precursor to UN). It was voted in favor of the propse, however British and US delegates did not recognized stating that it has to be unanimous. Interestingly,this deepened conflict left unresolved between British/US and japan, resulted to WW2. Equality of the nations clause was included in UN pact after the WW2.
** Well. Not just Saionji, who built modern Japan, however, I am strongly identify his forward free thinking and his interest in learning the cultures outside of Japan. He was accused of Foreign sympathizer, however, that is wrong. He was clever enough to know how much catching up we (Japanese) needed, and almost singlehandedly establish the modern foreign policy. (He was also became prime minister several times.)
*****
Now back to the pixel realm...
It is something possible in virtual community which includes great minds from different cultures. Yet the cluster is somewhat linked by similar ideals.
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